Dia de Muertos: A Liet Wan Special Pt.2

And stick out they did. Until Darkness approached her, Village Beauty aka Cinder Tinder was stuck trying to make sure her mini wasn’t riding up her voluptuous buttocks and stiff, wide hips. When he finally deigned to grace her with his presence, she was absolutely mesmerized by his wide shoulders and boxer’s stance. Like he was getting ready to knock some poor damsel to the floor in a quick, RH- LF- Uppercut combo.

You see Darkness was the kind of guy that you wanted at this party. The muzungus loved him to bits- he was a feast for the eyes. The darkies, loved him for other reasons, to be revealed later.

Plus, he had this cute, little habit of pushing his glasses further up his well chiselled but bulbous nose, just so they could sit- just so. Darkness, whose real name was Sam Eddy, was paying for his polytechnic education by doing odd jobs for the muzungus in Ren.

Village Beauty had seen him around the Posho a few times. Hanging out with Chrisanthus the pseudo-tutor. Since he was easy on the eye, Cinder Tinder let him hang around her like a flame attracted a moth. Delirious Sheba had somehow managed to get herself inside her employer’s house. What she was doing in there, was anybody’s guess, for an extra shilling or two, of course. Darkness was Chrisanthus’ antithesis. Where Chris was myopic, balding, short and easily manipulated, Darkness was tall, striking and as stubborn as an old goat that roamed the Atlactical Mountains.

There was a slight kerfuffle at the entrance to the massive mansion and as Village Beauty squinted (her Cinder Tinder role play didn’t require her to put on her eye glasses), she saw Delirious Sheba being man handled by two Yuppies.

Tender Tinder (the alter ego of the Alter Ego) knocked back her drink and sauntered to the entrance. In her best imitation of an accent, Tinder drawled and growled at the two hulking Yuppies holding her BFF hostage, “Pardon me, but what aaaare you doing?”

One of the Yuppies turned his attention away from Sheba and even beneath the ceremonial White face, Village Beauty knew who she was looking at. A.O Mr Diminishing Returns himself.

Without an extra thought for her friend’s welfare, Tinder turned awkwardly in her clogs and ran.

Dia de Muertos: A Liet Wan Special

She was panting heavily, trying to get away but Darkness would not let her be. Hands snatched at her, tearing her lovely gown to pieces, hands grabbing her, grabbing at her coat, ripping it to pieces. So much so, that she had to stop along the unlit corridor and have a conversation with Darkness, the cute and well-built nerd she had met at Donald’s house.

Ako had invited her for one of those posh Halloween do’s on the other side of the Posho Mill. Ako was a maid in one of those muzungu owned homes in Ren. You know the type, where the horses bedded down for the night on a dreamy cloud of hay and the servants ate dry Ugali when they felt a little bit peckish. So apparently, Ako’s boss was throwing a Halloween shindig for all his Happy Valley cronies and for a bit of added flavour, he had asked his servant to invite her buddies from the Kijiji of Liet Wan.

Ako was her long time frenemy but enmity notwithstanding, Ako needed her there for this party just so she could show the world how chickens and eagles can soar together. Once she received the invite, Village Beauty racked her brains on the best costume. She thought about it all, from Snow White, to Elsa, to Cinderella. In the end, she decided she wanted to go as Cinder Tinder- the princess who set her Charming’s heart on fire. Literally. This was a macabre choice but given the Dia de Muertos pictures she had seen in an old copy of Veuve, it was appropos.

So on All Hallow’s Eve, (these muzungus were posh, she referred to the days of the week by their regular names and these yuppies were so ahead of the curve, “Saturday” was beyond them), she accompanied Ako to 13 Daredevil Rd in the leafy, prime plots of Ren. Dressed exponentially to the nines, Cinder Tinder and Ako reincarnated as Delirious Sheba arrived at the venue and proceeded to stick out like sore pinky toes.



Calling all Bibliophiles

If you love books and all things librarian (please pun fully intended), then you’ve heard about @blueeyedbiblio on Instagram. If you haven’t, then maybe you don’t love books as much or even better, you don’t love the internet as much, hence you’re not always on it to find out stuff (5 mics for you homie).

Look at that shelf. Now go pick up a book Image from Huffington Post Teen

So the account of interest is run by 18 year old Emily and boy does she have a great way to make people fall in love with books. Her feed curates the books she’s currently reading with lovely pictures. She comes across as honest and really into books. In an age where electronic readers are wiping the floor with hard copy books, Emily’s Instagram is a nice relief from all the hardware and a kind reminder that books are all we need. We find our closest friends in some of the literature we read.

Please be sure to check out and follow her on Instagram and also read longer reviews on her blog- Blue Eyed Biblio.

To Podcast or Not?

When we were growing up there were lots and lots of books at my parents’ house. I used to get books for birthdays, for Christmas, for being a good girl and when I was bad, to teach me how to be good (props to Enid Blyton for almost turning me into a prefect). When I didn’t get books I got underpants. One of my aunts, who I will not name, had a penchant for choosing the ugliest panties from the tween section until I turned 21.

Anyway I discovered a cool new concept (OK not so new, audio books have been here a while). The Podcast. A friend of mine shared a new series (what are those things called, I’m a newbie) called Serial which is apparently done by the same guys of “This American Life”. Serial is about a boy who’s in jail for murdering his girlfriend back when they were in high school in 1999. He swears his innocence and we get to listen to Sarah Koenig rebuild the case and present the evidence. It’s a classic whodunnit case type of story and is quite interesting.

The internet is awash with different opinions and forgive me if you haven’t listened to this podcast, I’ve got spoilers coming up. I’m currently on episode 6 and I would really like to know what really happened to this guy’s girlfriend and who killed her. There are some people who think Serial is propagating the “The Model Minority Myth”- something about how Asian kids are goody two shoes or whatever. You can read more in this article by Julia Wong, ” The Problem with Serial and the Model Minority Myth”. Read it and also the comments section attached to the article. If you love this podcast, there’s also a book recommendation from another BF contributor, Lincoln Michel, “The One Book Every Serial Fan should read”

I like the series so far and it keeps me entertained at work as I slog through late briefs for calendars, diaries and some other boring shit. Locally, a friend of mine (I use that term loosely, sijui kwao vizuri) has also started his own podcast project with some of his friends called Detour and their first episode is a discussion with some established Kenyan gospel artistes. i haven’t listened to it but I’ll queue it up for this weekend. Thanks for making it this far LOL. Anyone got any podcast recomendations they’d like to share? Post it in the comments and I’ll get to it super fast.

Reader Request: Light Up my World

He eases his weight down onto a chair backstage. He listens as the applause dies down. He just had an amazing set but feels lost. Nothing makes it better; not the brandy on the rocks in his hand, not the comforting smell of nicotine or the banned substances that will go up his nose later…

“Darling! That was great.”, coos a high pitched, nasally whine somewhere around his left ear.

“And certainly not that”, he thinks to himself with bitter regret. He plasters a grin  on his face and turns to kiss Kush on the cheek. Kush is his perpetual pain in the neck, but everyone else, even the roadies know her as his girl. Every time he looks at her face he sees her eyes.

“I wonder where she is right now. Who she’s with?”, He thinks to himself sadly. Lately, he has been thinking about how he got here. Not back stage at another sold out show. No, here in life where nothing makes sense and where he constantly second guesses himself.

Kush means well but she isn’t her. She is a replacement. A good replacement but that is all she would ever be to him. Everything else Kush was, she was not her. She had a homely quietness about her, Kush was ingratiatingly annoying and the only homely thing about her was the place of birth on her ID.

He had to admit, he let the darkness descend on his world the day he let her go and chose Kush.

This post was born out of a request from a new reader. He had been reading the blog for all of 5 minutes and decided to give me a challenge. He’s also a writer so I hope I did his beginning justice. I’m open to suggestions, so if you’ve got endings, middles or punctuation marks(LOL) you’d like to see me use, feel free to let me know on the Talk to Me section at the the top of the page. 



Reviewed: Vicky’s Treats

Hello Loyal Readers. Hello New Readers. Welcome to 2014’s inaugural Review of a bakery and cake shop run by my sweet friend, Vicky of Vicky’s Treats Vicky has been baking since 2011 and when we used to work together, she’d provide the cake for all the office birthdays.

Sugar, Spice and things Smiles
Sugar, Spice and all things Smiles

I remember I tasted her pina colada cake for the first time when she baked our CFO’s birthday cake. Delicious, spicy and moist is all I can say. Then I made my first order for red velvet cupcakes for my chama’s monthly meeting and I was hooked forever to Vicky’s Treats. Since then, slowly but surely, I’ve become a cupcake evangelist. I ordered two dozen Supa Snack cupcakes for a friend’s birthday last year and we were more than impressed. The Supa Snack is one of Vicky’s signature flavors and a personal favorite of mine- it’s a chocolate cuppie filled with Orange Cream and frosted with chocolate butter cream just like the Cadbury’s brand chocolate with a similar name from when we were kids.

My birthday cake last year was lemon poppy cake with vanilla butter cream. Divine is all I can say. I ordered cuppies of the same flavor for my family at Christmas coz we’re that family that has to do cake at Christmas. They all enjoyed it immensely and there was talk of ordering some more cuppies and having them loaded up on a Narok Line for delivery. I honestly don’t know where that story went.

Flavour Palette
Sugar Rush Time

LOL early this year, Vicky held a cake and frosting tasting for a potential wedding client and guess who got to eat leftovers? ME ME ME. Sugar makes me happy, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it… :D There were 3 available cake flavours for me to taste, Chocolate, Strawberry and Kiwi. Being the girl I am, I left Chocolate to last ;) And then there were 8 available frosting/filling flavours available. In order of preference I liked the following:

  1. Blueberry
  2. Chocolate Full Butter Cream
  3. Passion
  4. Lemon
  5. Strawberry
  6. Chocolate Regular
  7. Coffee
  8. Vanilla

The best thing about Vicky’s Treats isn’t just the cakes, it’s the wonderful customer service and professional care you receive when you call to place your order up until you pick it up from the charming Vicky. In a country where we claim, Customer is King and turn around and do the opposite, Vicky is a gem. She is also wonderfully creative and can make you a specialty cake of whichever design you so desire. I struggle with favourite anything in this life, now I even struggle with picking a favourite cake flavour and/or design. During last year’s Cake Festival she pulled out this masterpiece for the “Kenya @50” category. A 3 tiered silhouette cake depicting the very best scenes of Kenya. Mad talent.


Make that call, Sugar!
Make that call, Sugar!

Browse more pics on her Facebook Page and follow her on Instagram at Vicky’s Treats 254


The Great Debate- Sorrow and Grief

I write this from a source of great pain and in a state of constant, inconsistent pain and sorrow. I have been seeing a lot of #RIP posts and funeral posts on my feeds lately. I have lost a great deal of family and friends in the distant and not too distant past. Death and Taxes are the only assurance we have in this life.

I go to bed in sorrow and sometimes I wake up to sorrow but it doesn’t mean that’s all there is to this life. I believe there’s more and that is why I have hope for better days. I have learnt that it is fine to be sad and to live in that moment of sorrow, to fully experience it. It is important to do this so that you can embrace it and then let it go and move on from it.

Some days are hard and some days not as hard. My journey in sorrow started almost 4 years ago and has been cumulatively continuous with more loss and challenges. I have made steps to dealing with this and my journey is uniquely my own, what happened and how I’ve dealt with it make it mine.

During this time, the internet, my friends, my brothers are my greatest, fundamental coping mechanisms. I am grateful for this (also this post is my all in one gratitude challenge). I give thanks for many things and more importantly, I give thanks for my life and my journey. I am fine. This is not a permanent state of life.